answer me.

What happens when you wake up in the morning, & begin to live as if all you've lost is still there?

When there's an entrance to your past, just in the corner of the closet?

Not even the sound of a piano can soothe me. I hear it, & it's hurting me.

My eyes are droopy, but I'm scared to sleep, only to dream of fixing my regrets.

I'm drowning, I sware.

I've never been more sorry,
I'm sorry.

It's meaningless.

i'mnothungry,

but thank you.



Mr.102307, you made me full; now I struggle to eat.

Darling, will you start me off with an appetizer?
I won't be having an entree soon.

Rjcl19, your faith in me always satisfies my thirst.
but I seem to overfill you with my serving.


I want dessert already;
am I needy.

beatings

the beatings in my head seem to get stronger.

goodORbad?

Note to self:

just breath.

Secretive sin;

This sin, this secret,
I wear it on my neck.

Why aren't you here?

I need you, I want you,
I've been told It's a sin.

I fear you parting.
I won't be parting.

Your aroma, that embrace;
drop me off on the next street if you must.

You've been engraved.

Your sin is a secret,
my sin is outspoken darling.

Treat me like a doll,
you will remain.

102307.

What gives you the right to instill that look of yours in my mind? You may have been the one to start my progression, but you should be gone in that manner.

Were you the one to be brutally honest with me, because you were actually concerned? No, I give thanks to that special teacher.

Were you the one to tell everyone not to ask any questions, nomatter the tears?
No, I give thanks to a real friend.

Were you the one to act like a complete idiot to bring me happiness?
No, I give thanks to an amazing sister.

Were you the one to accept me for me, and not want to change a thing?
No, I give thanks to my lovely lady.

Were you the one to love me unconditionally? To be there at 3 AM? To save me?

No, I thank the Lord.



102307, will remain as just another writting inspiration that came along..

Lover?

So, I love life now? Because things seem to be going so well, that I FIND something to make things seem wrong; Is that abnormal?

Because I still want to feel like a lover..

Then & Now,

It's been quite a transformation. From being an honor student & not having anyone but 1 true friend, to not even getting a C in a class, & having many fake friends. Going from new love, to new friend, to new drugs, & lower grades. From meeting 1 boy who completely flipped me inside out, he lied to me a "forever", but I'm glad he did. He made me crash, kept me down, then made me strong. Along came a sister, she must be like an angel or something, because I never would have got out of "then", and succeed into "now".

*Note: Then? Getting high, late night weekends, & those "friends".
Now? My new family, motivation, improvement, & God.

"I would be nothing, without you".

I haven't left you.

I was inspired, & I don't want this inspiration to go away.

A Christian brother shared his story. He reminded me of a lifestyle I was once addicted to. The one that I read in a book, the lifestyle of "the monster". When I lived this life, nothing matterd & God was the last thing on my mind. The Christian brother shared the process of finding God. It all happened in a matter of 2 years, in such little time. As for me, it took the help of a heartbreak, and 3 months to begin talking to God. Soon enough, he began listening, & I'm sure I felt the Holy Spirit one night.

Recently, I haven't been going to my youth group, but in my heart I still feel the same connection for God. I won't deny that I have drifted away from my prayers twice a day, but I plan on going back to speaking to God even more.

All it took was the story of a man who was a total stranger to me, & still is, to tell his life story & remind me of the way I was.

I'll never want to be that person again.

Prom day.

Finally, prom. Even with a night of friends, laughter, and dancing, something's not right. Are you rotting alone? Or is someone helping pull you down? "Have you ever had so many thoughts churning inside you that you didn’t dare let them escape in case they blew you wide open?".

This day was important;
I'll dance it all away through the moonlight.