_____0237

Its been a while, since I've been kissed by this emotion. Its been a while, since I haven't been able to explain...anything. Its been a while, since I've actually questioned, if I'm being myself; or more importantly, why I'm not being myself.

Maybe, I'm over reacting. Maybe, I really can be made up of indie music, coffee shops, journals, and flannels throughout the day. And maybe, I can be made up of neon colors, happy pills, electronica, and dance throughout the night.

I don't know how many times I've repeated, "This time, I'm really changing. No strings attached, only happiness". And it's getting old. But, I occasionally...fool myself.

Since you, you asshole, I haven't felt, the same. As disappointing and wrong as it seems. Damn, am I disappointed. But that goes to show you, I'm still here, and you weren't the last. Just like I wasn't your last.

I'm sorrounded with sunlight through my wooden blinds, unfolded blankets, pillows, and by the sound of a piano, sitting...thinking. In Four days, I can show you I'm still alive after 1 year without you.

You asshole.

If I was made up of what you wanted me to be, then what am I now?

That my friend, is where the confusion comes from.