This, is hate.

I hate putting this, show on for everybody. I suppose I only need attention.

since I had none, from no family growing up. I don't even know what it's like to celerate a birthday; one dinner of my choice, the way it's supposed to be, is all I asked for.

they say, they're here, I can tell them anything; but it's useless. They all say the same shit.

This is hate, I swear this is hate. Hate towards everything, and I mean everything. Hate towards these walls sorrounding me; I swear, they speak words of discouragement. Hate towards the mountains around this damn valley; such beauty, such scenery, makes me feel so small, so ugly. I have hate towards love, and I begin to think lust is better. all because, my father only shows love to alcohol, and isn't man enough to admit it.

I hate this damned phone, worst of all. For almost Ten years, they have ruined me; they destroyed me. They destroyed me with the fear I had at 3 AM; I didn't want to be called worthless. I didn't want to know, I couldn't amount to anything.

Thank you dad. Thank you for it all. Thank you for showing what pain really is. Thank you.

wait,

no fuck you dad. Fuck you for the drugs, and the cuts. fuck you dad; fuck you very much.