I've waited too long.

When we have our First, real argument with our parents, well say think, "I can't wait to be 18, to get the hell out of here!". We feel it's so easy, and figure all we have to do is graduate, get a job, move out, and we'll never have to hear it from our parents again.

I got the chance to move out of my mom's house a bit younger. At 16 years old, I moved in with my half-sister, and her parents I didn't know. The situation wasn't as easy as it sounds, and I still had to hear it from my mom, no matter how many miles apart we were. It's not always, how we think it out to be.

I've always felt, blackmailed. I always had someone around to tell me if it wasn't his way, my mom would find everything out; all of the parties, the drugs, and the rumors. I was always too afraid, and I've always known it was sometimes for my benefit, but not this time. I've waited way too fucking long.

I had things thrown my way; things I'll never forget, and some others that are just, foolish. But now, I've overcome something big for everybody. Wether you're a child, a teenager, or an adult, it's the same amount of difficulty. Having to tell your mom you're using drugs, isn't easy. Even if she was the one to drag me out of her life, she was also the one who sacrificed anything to keep me alive. Even if she did always keep me alive lower than her husband, or my brother, there's still for once guilt in me, for letting her down.

I fell in love with this, world in December. Not necessarily the world of drugs, but another just as deadly. This is a, perfect world for me. It's something beautiful, to me. The drugs have just, always made it prettier. The extra's are nice, but this world, there's no way in hell I'd let it go. Not now, not soon.

"Dear mom,

You don't like my world, my friends, or my nights, because all you know about it are drugs. You don't know what its done to me, what I feel when I meet a new...family member, or the way my heart races whenever I hear bass, whenever I see lights. I love you, and I'm more than willing to quit the drugs. But, there's no way in fucking hell, I'm quitting my world. Not now, not soon.

Sincerely,
your daughter."